Congruence

flip flop beach-happinessDo you have a goal in mind that you’ve wanted to achieve for some time now but haven’t quite gotten there? It could be in your personal or professional life. You know you can achieve it but you aren’t committing to taking the steps to get there. I’ve been feeling this lately and I find myself spinning. Suddenly, I don’t know what I want anymore. I had that momentum and just like that, it’s gone. I could chalk it up to a bad day or I might need to start asking myself the hard questions.


Am I doing what I really want or what I think I should be doing?

Am I minimizing problems in order to avoid them?

Is what I’m doing today getting me closer to where I want to be tomorrow?

Are my thoughts, behaviors, and actions congruent?

Often times we aren’t reaching our goals because along side the part of us that wants to achieve it, there’s also a part of us that doesn’t. For example, I work with a few clients that want to lose 10-15 lbs before the summer. However, they aren’t completely, 100% committed. They enjoy their glass of wine each night and cocktails on the weekend. They aren’t making cardio a priority. Eating out 4-5 times a week is a non-negotiable. I realize that their goal isn’t all that important to them. While they may indeed want to lose that weight, they are avoiding the steps to making it happen. Because avoidance is easy.

This week was my last module for my Holistic Health Coach certification. As part of the last module we had to write down our goals for the end of the week, the end of the month, three months from now, one year from now, five years from now, and ten years from now. My goal for one year from now was to have moved to a new city that I love and landed a job that aligns with my values, incorporates my certification and passion for health and wellness, and fosters a happy, balanced environment. It’s a broad goal and I don’t even know where to begin with my action steps. I’m paralyzed and avoidance becomes my best friend.

I asked myself the questions above and the one that keeps tripping me up is the last one; are my thoughts, behaviors, and actions congruent? The answer… not exactly. If my one year goal is to move to a new city that I love then I should be actively researching cities that interest me, looking into job opportunities and hunting for flight deals. I started researching the Boulder/Denver area this week and got stuck. My fears crept in, what if I can’t find a job? what if I can’t afford an apartment? what if I’m homesick? what if my family and friends never visit me? what if I can’t make friends? And then, I avoided it. Because I could just stay in Wisconsin. No one is making me leave. There are just too many hoops to jump through.

But…what if it’s awesome?

My intention this week is to make solid action steps for myself to move through this fear and live a life of congruence. I need to get my thoughts, behaviors, and actions in alignment. What have you realized about your goals? Ask yourself the questions above and take an honest look at if you are 100% committed or if avoidance is taking over. Try to find a mentor or someone you can speak freely with to help you work through the fear. Let me know if I can help too!

Have a wonderful week!

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2 thoughts on “Congruence”

  1. Love the photo! It turned out great. Thanks for making my Monday mornings more bearable. Your words of wisdom make me smile.

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