It’s been too long

I have wanted to be back in this space for awhile. I would think of the words to write and tell myself that I will carve out the time tomorrow. And then something more pressing would fill that space and this post would never get written.

I’ve missed being here so much and as I sat at work today waiting for a client that never showed, I decided now was as good a time as ever to open up the laptop and start writing. So I’ll just begin.

Tom and I signed a lease in late April on a space in Waunakee to open up our own Orange Shoe Personal Fitness. I’ve been working at the Orange Shoe in Fitchburg for quite some time now and last summer we were approached with the wonderful opportunity to open our own. Tom and I have dreamed of having our own space one day and it seemed like this was a perfect opportunity to fulfill that dream.

Since then, time feels like someone has pressed the “fast forward” button. Each day is filled to the brim with meetings, phone calls, emails, training sessions, trying to squeeze in workouts, and maintaining sanity. The summer is scheduled with sponsoring events, hosting free workouts, Saturday morning bootcamps in the park, ordering equipment, scheduling consults with prospective clients, setting up the website, and praying that the build-out begins soon and stays on schedule since we start paying rent in September.

Summer is my favorite in Madison and I usually like to spend it going to state parks on the weekend, walking around the farmer’s market, going on bike rides, watching sunsets, checking out festivals, and spending time with friends and family. As everyone seems to be stretching out and soaking up the sun, we will be hustling.

That’s been the toughest part for me. I am someone who loves the quiet, calm, and peace. I am resentful that we are so busy. I get to the end of my days feeling completely depleted and when Friday rolls around, I am a shell of myself. After training on Saturday mornings, I come home and flop myself on the couch and can’t bring myself to do much of anything. I fall asleep for three hours and then proceed to sleep for 10 hours that night. I feel like I’m catching up on all of the rest I didn’t get during the week. And before I know it, it’s Sunday evening and I haven’t done one thing that recharged my soul.

When Friday rolled around today, I was feeling the weight of a week when Tom was gone for military training. I was already waiting for the moment when I could go to bed that evening. I realized that this wasn’t going to work for me. I needed to find a different way to be productive but also restful during the week. I wanted to enjoy my weekends again and not spend them in a comatose state of exhaustion.

Being business owners was the route we chose and I know the road won’t be smooth. But I believe that there is a healthy balance to strike, I just haven’t found that yet. Life has been full and tough lately. And sometimes when I’ve come to write in this space, I didn’t feel like I could because no one enjoys complaining. I wanted to bring only light and happiness here, but today, I just brought what has been on my heart.

I apologize for how long it’s taken me to get back. I promise I won’t be a stranger here this summer. I’m wishing you a lovely summer weekend and I hope it’s full of all the good things your soul needs.

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